Chivalry- down but not out


A major debate over the last few decades is whether or not chivalry is dead.  Staff writers Austin Grumbles, writing in blue, and Kendall Silvers, writing in pink, attempt to settle this debate.

What Is Chivalry?

Some say that women killed chivalry—as if every woman decided to end respectful treatment. Chivalry can be defined as a choice to do the right things for the right reasons.  This doesn’t mean buying a girl dinner just to take her home with you after. Chivalry is in the pursuit of a girl, and in this generation those stages have changed. Girls don’t expect a guy to ring the doorbell every time they want to talk; however, it’s hard for girls to see the difference in a boy who’s snapchatting her to pursue her body and one who’s snapchatting her to pursue her heart.

Chivalry was the moral code of medieval knights when they swore an oath to honor God, their lords, the weak, and women. Ideally, it’s the model of what all men should strive to be like. And while many will notice that chivalrous men are a dying breed, they still existIn this mentality,  women also played a vital role in chivalry.  Ladies would be the moral guide to their knight in shining armor; when he would begin to stray towards pride, deceit, corruption, or greed, they would beckon him back to the narrow path.

Who Is Responsible for the Death of Chivalry?
People blame the hypothetical death of chivalry on one of two things: modern feminism or cocky boys. Neither is the case. A couple decades ago, men’s roles in a relationship were clearly set in front of them. But in today’s generation, gender roles are convoluted in a constantly changing society. As a girl, I am constantly bombarded by the “I can do anything without a man” motto, while men are told to both fit the stereotype of acting strong and not showing any feelings. The truth is that everyone is trying to figure out what they want, and in the process, no one knows what is the right thing to do.

Girls continually complain about dating subpar guys but nobody is forcing them to do so.  You don’t have to settle just to have a boyfriend.  Wait for the right guy.

Chivalry is a two-way street; most women today settle for any boy that comes along and pays for a meal, happy to label him her boyfriend.  When a man sees a woman settle for less than she deserves, it’s easier for a man to forsake chivalry; he doesn’t need to step up if a woman has accepted the lowest form of flattery. Society is left with boys who can shave, ones that call themselves “men.”

What Is Pursuing a Girl?

It’s not just the flowers and chocolates that win a girl’s heart (although it can help); it’s the extra effort that really means the most. It’s something like calling to see how she’s doing, instead of calling her at the last minute to invite her over. At the same time, girls need to realize that this isn’t a Hollywood movie, and boys don’t have mind-reading powers. They aren’t always going to get it 100% right.

The magic of chasing after a person’s heart has been lost on our generation, as guys and girls can now hide behind the comfort of a screen. Then when they are face-to-face, the charade is over and the relationship fizzles out quickly.  But what the real trait guys are lacking today isn’t chivalry, but courage and imagination. Girls want a knight in shining armor, not someone who is trying to slide in their DM’s.  You don’t have to go slay a dragon or joust the school in her name to win her heart.  Start with the small things:  hold the door; compliment her every chance you get; smile; and always be nice.  Remember to smile when you are around her, and if she’s the right one, you’ll have a hard time stopping. When you are talking to her, ask her questions to get know the real her and pay attention to the details. Then down the road, you can pull a Jim Halpert and give her a sweet gift from an old memory. Don’t just text her (any dope can do that). Call her to talk.  And when the time is right to tell her how you feel, don’t hide it.

What Needs to Change?
There is no one thing that needs to change. If a boy’s heart isn’t in the right place, neither will be his intentions. Avoid the derogatory comments, and stop hiding behind a screen to salvage your pride if the relationship doesn’t work out. If you’re really into a girl, tell her. If you’re not really into a girl, still tell her. There is nothing worse than leading someone on. All girls want is the little bit of effort that guys have in creating their best fantasy football team. Boys, don’t go the extra mile for a week, and then stop once you have adopted the dating title. Chivalry is a continual component to a relationship. And girls, if a guy puts in the effort to take you out to dinner, let him know how much you appreciate it.

So guys if you are tired of being the nice guy who gets over looked, step up, and carpe diem-seize the day.  Become the knight in shining armor for your lady, and don’t be afraid to take a risk; fortune favors the bold.